Ted Crisp loves his job. He works for the team at Veridian Dynamics, where nothing is too far-fetched, or out of the ordinary. An average day for Ted could easily involve creating a suicidal turkey, for instance. The only problem is, Ted is ethical and the company is not.
Ted helps his brother land a job as a salesman for a company that supplies Veridian with lab equipment, which has consequences for Phil and Lem. Meanwhile, Veronica receives an award from a charity for girls.
Ted's rival at work has developed an identical project that Ted's team has been working on, but Ted decides to take the high road. However, Veronica gets Linda and Rose to help sabotage the rival team's project.
Veridian sends out a memo to the employees about inappropriate behavior, but a typo demands that they now use offensive language. Ted tries to convince Veronica to resolve the issue, but it comes a little too late as the insults are already underway. When she realizes the power of a memo typo, Veronica wonders if her promotion memo was intended for W. Palmer. Meanwhile, Linda tells Ted to loosen up, and Lem helps Phil to insult people.
While Ted tried to deal with a security guard turned stalker, Phil and Lem discover they'll have to face their ultimate nightmare: working directly for Veronica.
A Veridian employee dies due to overwork while trying to finish Veridian's next major project, a machine that will help people get more sleep. Instead of mourning the loss, Veronica tries to use the incident as a way to inspire the employees to work even harder.
Wen Ted and Linda are both falsely accused of sexual harassment, Veronica comes up with a novel defense: sexual harassment is a disease and no one can be held responsible for it. However, once Veridian accepts that reasoning, people start running amuck. Meanwhile, Phil and Lem try to rescue their lab robot Chumley from the company's recycling lab.
While Lem tries to figure out why Veridian wants him to wear a red lab coat, Ted is forced to step in when Veronica spends all of her time with boyfriend magician, Mordor.
Linda makes a small suggestion on Ted's biggest project, a light-bulb that will burn forever, and suddenly gets all of the credit, much to his dismay. Meanwhile, Lem's mother, a brilliant and intimidating scientist, comes for a visit and begins having an affair with Dr. Bhamba.
Veronica tries to get information on Veridian layoffs from Rose, who knows a friend in her playgroup. Meanwhile, Lem has an affair with a lawyer who bills him by the hour, and Linda unwittingly makes Phil the main character in her children's book.
Ted and Linda find their perfect matches thanks to Veridian's new genetic compatibility program. Meanwhile, Veronica and Lem are matched genetically, and she insists he make a sperm donation for him.
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